Whats it like to be a bride during Covid-19?
As the Coronavirus Pandemic swept the world, our normal began to change drastically. People were dying, people were now working from home, kids were out of school, and all large gatherings were being banned. For us in Georgia the pandemic started to really get bad right at the end of February. Before then it was in the news but things weren't deemed to be too bad just yet, people were still living their normal lives.
It was already February, my wedding was only two months out in April. We were starting to watch the news more and just feel out where things were headed next.
March came around, we were supposed to plan my bridal shower at the end of the month. Then the CDC came out and recommended no large gatherings 50, and then a few weeks later 10 and under, and then to stay in our home and not go outside until we absolutely needed to. Immediately the conversation was let's not start worrying about the wedding just yet. But we decided to hold off on my bridal shower. Something that my mom and my aunt were so looking forward to plan. We had discussed food, cake, started on gathering some decor. It was supposed to be so special. If you don't know me well. I am extremely sentimental. I like to make everything a special moment. I had been pinning, planning, and looking at things for my bridal shower for months and months now.
I remember sitting with my mom both of trying not to panic but internally trying to reassure ourselves that everything would be okay by the time the wedding came around. We had some time still.
Between my fiance and I, we had the sense of dread that we may have to postpone this wedding, or all out cancel it. Our families were still holding out hope.
The invites had all been sent, the deposits all been made, the preparation of months and months all around us. This whole wedding planning process was extremely difficult, stressful, and tearful. It was the hardest thing we had done. If you didn't have a process like this then consider yourself lucky. Planning a large Desi Wedding with families that are very different and large is difficult. I was the first in my family to get married, my fiance was the last in his. Our families and friends had so much excitement for this wedding.
We had friends and families constantly asking us, "What are you guys doing about the wedding?" Everytime that question came my way I wanted to just break down. This was supposed to be our big weekend. The one day that we could have all of our loved ones celebrating. The weekend we've been planning for so many months. Our answer was "We will let everyone know as soon as possible when we decided what to do."
On top of the questions we were getting unsolicited advice from all those extended family members, "cancel it" "postpone it" "cut the guest list" (because we know good and well if we cut you off the guest list you'd be butt hurt -_-)
It was so frustrating. We hadn't heard anything from a lot of vendors. We kept hearing things from family. The lockdowns were taking place. We had family who was stuck in india and canada. We had packages that were stuck in india that we needed here for the wedding. I was almost in tears everyday. I was reading about other brides who were canceling and postponing. I was on subreddits with brides going through the same thing as me.
Then the day came. We knew. My Fiance and I sat down. We were going to have to postpone. I cried for two days straight. I sat down and made a postponement announcement for us to send out to everyone and post on our website. We just gave up and stopped everything. It broke everyone's heart. There was so much excitement surrounding our wedding. Everyone was just disheartened. All our planning gone to waste.
We texted and emailed our vendors. Some brides I know had their vendors come to them, for us we had to go to most of them. There were no way we were getting some of our deposits back. We have to know coordinate a new date with every single vendor we had already books and paid. And let me tell you it is difficult to find one day that works for everyone. As of right now we don't have a new date planned. We don't know when or if the virus will die down enough to start planning again.
All together it just felt like everything around us was deflating. All the high and excitement that comes with being a bride, all the things that were planned to make it so special, all gone in an instant. It was heartbreaking and not only for me, for my grandparents who were excited to see their first grandchild get married, for my parents and in-laws who wanted to spare no expense in celebrating the first in my family and the last in his, for our friends and other family who had already made plans to come down for our big weekend.
Overall everything happens for a reason. This was nothing that was planned or expected or anything that could have been prevented. So at the end of the day we have to roll with punches and look on the brighter side. It'll be a beautiful wedding whenever we get the chance to have it, and maybe it's a second chance to get the wedding we really wanted.
In my next blog post I'll tell you guys a bit about our COVID-19 backyard elopement wedding. It was our way to make our wedding date a bit more special.
Even though being a bride is hard as it is, and being a bride during a global pandemic is even harder. If you have a friend going through this please reach out ask them how they are holding up, if you can help in anyway even if its being a lending ear. I am so grateful for every friend that reached out and was just a sounding board for all the emotional turmoil that comes with postponing a wedding.
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